i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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