You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
