By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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