in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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