Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
