Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
