Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
