if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
