I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
