I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
