This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
NoShamevember. You game?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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