Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
