i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
