Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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