you have to choose: penises or morals?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
