oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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