I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
