I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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