You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
