she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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