no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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