Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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