is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
