hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
