I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
