i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just had sex on a roof
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
