i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
