shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
