the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
