I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
