dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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