Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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