can we get nightvision for the apartment?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
