i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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