Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
