i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
