are you so shy because you have an std?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
