Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
