Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
