oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
