Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
