Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
