U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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