oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
oh god was she eating orange peels again
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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