I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
