Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
