I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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