There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
