so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
