You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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